Moms, I’m talking to you, we all do it. We get super excited for summer. Tired of the school year, tired packing lunches, tired of shouting “brush your teeth,” “for the fifth time, just put on your dang shoes…we are going to be late” or “where is your backpack?!” We are over the forms and papers and homework and all of the “stuff” that goes along with the school year. The kids are ready for a break, yes they sure are, but so are we. We need the break just as badly.
As that glorious last day of school approaches I have this unwritten list in my head of all the things we will do and how wonderful it will be. I day dream about how beautiful our days will be together; the family time, the sleeping in just a touch, the evenings where we can just enjoy each other’s company because that strict bedtime is suddenly a little more lenient. Now, as for you moms that work a full work week, your visions of summer may look a little different than mine. But, let’s be real, you do it. You look at the approaching summer break with a slight longing too.
Currently, almost two weeks in, the luster has worn off. Don’t get me wrong, I am still super happy we are in the midst of summer break, it’s just that reality has hit. I actually started thinking about this post and it’s relevance to moms everywhere the first day of break. I guessed it would be about three or four weeks before these memes started to surface on social media:
But it was actually as early as last night, just a mere one and a half weeks into summer break, when I saw the first call for school to resume. The very first “I can’t wait for the kids to be back in school” post.
Call me crazy but I birthed these kids, they are mine and I really hope and wish to enjoy this time I have with them. I know it’s not realistic to expect a constant state of bliss. There will be days I just need a break. But the last thing I want to do is wish the days away, they are kids and they will grow up (way too fast). Kids will also fight, be dramatic and hard to deal with sometimes, maybe even a lot of the time. The whole reason I thought about sharing this with you is straight up because my own girls were fighting, being dramatic and hard to deal with, on the very first day no less!
The first day of break they had their noses on the wall within an hour of waking because of sibling fighting. I threatened not to take them swimming (ever) and I spent my fair share of time asking them (in a mostly calm voice) to brush their teeth and to please just put some type of clothing on their bodies, matching optional, season appropriate clothing is all I ask.
That first afternoon we DID in fact end up at the pool, as I popped open Nothing to Prove by Jennie Allen, a book I’ve been working on for over six months now (it’s really a great book… I just have this problem where I start reading new books before I ever finish one… plus I’m a mom) I realized there are literally two things that keep me sane during summer break and actually allow me to enjoy the time I have with my kiddos to the best of my ability. I’m going to share because we shouldn’t just survive summer break with our kids, these should be the BEST days.
1. Friends
Guys if you don’t have some sort of local mom tribe, GET ONE. For so long I didn’t have a group of mom friends that lived close enough to regularly get together. The local part is so important, because texting is great and those yearly gatherings with your forever besties are awesome. But having people we can regularly physically be around is a big deal.
Why is it a big deal? Why do you need mom friends? So many reasons:
Adult conversation. As a moms we need to converse with people that can hold a real conversation with us every now and then. People who will hear our struggles, hopes and dreams without judgment and just provide that necessary support. Yes this can be done over the phone with a long distance bud but it’s nice to have a conversation face to face while our kids are being entertained by someone else’s so we can actually focus and enjoy the conversation.
Mom friends are our peers, they make us feel a little (sometimes a lot) less crazy. I can tell them anything. Things that would typically elicit a response of shock and horror, get a calm, almost bored response. The type of response that makes me feel like I am actually normal and maybe, just maybe even winning at this mom job. The job I thought I was on the verge of being fired from until I laid my crazy on the line for my friends to see ….and then completely shrug off as normal.
Lastly, and maybe most importantly, they bring built in entertainment: their kids. Why is it at home we have to constantly entertain? Siblings are fine to play with sometimes but there will also be rivalries and boredom. Other people’s kids always seem more fun and they give me, as mom, a little break. Plus, some time playing with friends allows me that feeling of having done at least one productive thing with my kiddos for the day.
I am so very grateful for my mom friends, they make my life so much better!
2. Jesus
Oh my, this is the BIG one. Daily time with the Lord gets me centered for the day. It is 100% necessary and the number one thing that gets me through this entire parenting gig, not just summer.
When it comest to spending time in the scripture, mornings work best for me. This can prove challenging when, often, all I want to do is enjoy a few more minutes all wrapped up under the covers, asleep. But starting my day right leads to a more calm mother and better over all version of me. Yes, there are days my time in the word doesn’t come until the kids are in bed or, like today, I overslept a bit so it will happen while I eat lunch.
The important part isn’t as much when it happens, just that time in the word is in fact happening and I am personally making that time each and every day. Time to read scripture, pray over my kids hearts, my husbands and my own. Time to breath deeply, count my abundant blessings and ask the Lord to carry me through the day.
This daily practice keeps God at the front of our lives. It serves as my reminder that I am sinful, allowing me to parent with more grace. Asking God in daily keeps my mind centered, knowing where I should turn when those days get long and tough. The best part: My kids see me in the Bible. Seeing the impact of my relationship with God is creating a desire in them. My oldest is seven and just starting to read the Bible daily, on her own. What a huge blessing!
My girls see me lose it, they see me mess up on the daily. But I’m able to admit to them that I am imperfect as a mother and ask for their forgiveness. Keeping God in our lives every single day by actually spending time in the word and asking him in is the number one summer survival skill I can encourage you to take up.
I really just want to thrive this summer and have wonderful memories to look back on. Not perfection. I know I will be sorely disappointed if that is my expectation. Just fulfillment, that’s what I seek. Days where the time spent laughing is greater than the time spent yelling and arguing. Days filled with joy.
I’m sure I am not alone in this wish to thrive more than we survive summer break. I could have listed 10 things we could do as moms to make this summer break fabulous, but keeping it simple always works best for me. A peaceful home starts with me. My kids need to eventually comply for it to work but I set the tone. Friends and Jesus help me stay sane. They bring out the best version of me making them my master plan to a vibrant thriving summer break! If you need me I’ll be reading a book, keeping Jesus in my heart, friends by my side and chilling by the pool.
Blessings,
Rita
Love this! I need to grow my local mom tribe from acquaintances to friends!!
Lori, I live in the small town my husband grew up in. Which is AWESOME. But my kids have helped me finally get out and make some great friends! We barely knew each other when we started scheduling park dates etc. They are something I prayed for and have been a huge, huge blessing.